Single motherhood is still a garment of shame in many African societies. Society is unreservedly judgmental about single mothers so that those below age 30 especially look themselves despicable. In fact, single mothers are often thought of as moral suspects, run down, unkempt, wayward, sexually loose, possibly drug addicted, irresponsible, young people who cannot get their mess together. The best gift society gives to many a single mother or those expecting out of wedlock is stigma and well-structured gossips.
This is no longer funny given the widespread domestic violence, cheating, crimes and deaths of passion surrounding both dating relationships and marriages. A few young ladies who value life over relationships thriving on brutality, vulgarity and cheating, walk away before the ship sinks. But there is still a class of young ladies whose brains start working only after falling into troubled waters, for example, getting impregnated by men that take responsibility for nothing. These men want a lady around only when it fits their needs. For lack of a better term, they are fuck boys; creatures moved by the direction of their erection.
Irrespective of dejecting circumstances of out-of-wedlock pregnancy or child, society remains insensitive to the plight of these young ladies. Single mothers survive as beasts of shame but there is something to applaud them for. They are worthy applauding for braving the shame of carrying an unclaimed pregnancy. For walking with evidence that they had been cohabiting, fornicating with brute men whose value equals used toilet paper. Single mothers are worthy of so much respect for not succumbing to abortion like many other single young women out there. I am not encouraging fornication nor adultery but responsibility. Society needs people not afraid of looking at the consequences of their actions. Men and women with a sense of co-existence, tolerance and respective of other people’s life circumstances. Single mothers are not ghost citizens of this earth nor are they less human. They are who they are because of mistakes, bad choices and circumstances beyond their control. Their mistakes are better than your secret dealings. Give them peace. They are still beloved daughters of Jesus Christ.
By Ollus Ndomu
Photo by Eye for Ebony
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I am a purpose driven person who finds pleasure in building a better world. Writing and reading informs my daily schedule of activities.